“How do you deal with failure? Or rejection?” “Tell us about a time when you failed badly.” These questions are quite common in the interviews, and they test one of your critical abilities, especially when you aspire to achieve something big in your career: dealing with failures, and moving on quickly once you experience them. Whether you like it or not, failure belongs to life just as success does. They are simply two sides of the same coin, and it is your ability to not take either success or failure too seriously which can set you apart from the rest of the job candidates. Let me explain you how to convince the hiring managers of having this ability, and how to answer both questions.
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The Basics
- Most common interview questions belonging to this area: How do you deal with failure? Tell us about a time when you failed.
- Less common questions belonging to the area: Describe a situation when you did not meet someone’s expectations. Tell us about a time when you missed a deadline or a productivity target. What’s the biggest failure of your professional career? How do you deal with rejection?
- Out of 10 random jobs, in how many cases will this area be tested during the hiring process: 5/10. You will face this question in roughly every second job interview. Interviewers don’t ask about failures to make you feel miserable, or to make you look like a loser. They use the question because the way you deal with failures (whether you can admit failing, accept responsibility, get over it quickly, learn your lesson, etc) tells a lot about you as a person and a potential employee for their company in general.
- Difficulty: 5/5. A very difficult question indeed. First of all, because we find it hard to talk about failures. Trying to protect our ego, we tend to blame other people, or simply circumstances of life, for our failures. But this is the sure way of losing it in an interview. And secondly, because it is a complex question that demands a complex answer (explaining in detail what happened, what role you played in the situation, what mistakes you made, what lessons you learned, etc), and such answers aren’t easy to formulate for most people. But don’t worry, once you’re done with reading this post, you will be able to answer questions about failures to the satisfaction of any hiring manager.
- Main goals of the hiring managers with questions belonging to this area: Understanding your attitude to both successes and failures. Seeing whether you can accept responsibility for your mistakes and learn from them. Assessing how prone you are to burnout and other issues that plague corporate employees nowadays. Seeing whether you can talk openly about difficult situations from your life and work.
- Your main goals with answers to questions belonging to this area: Clearly demonstrating that you aren’t ashamed of your failures, and simply consider them a part of life, a part of a broader picture. Showing the hiring managers that you can accept responsibility for any mistake, and that you take failures as learning experiences. Demonstrating healthy attitude to both successes and failures–not taking either of them too seriously.
7 sample answers
Sample answer no. 1: A job applicant talking about the way they deal with failures in general:
I try to take each failure as a learning experience. They say for a reason that there are no holidays in the school of life. One lesson follows another one, sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail. I try to not dwell on my failures for too long. Because there is always new goal to attain, new dream to follow. At least that’s my attitude to life. You cannot always win, and it’s important to forget the failures quickly, and focus on the future.
- Quick thing to notice here: Notice how they show a healthy attitude to failing, and accepting it as a part of life. They also show that they always look forward and do not dwell on the past, regardless of whether it brought successes or disappointments (“…there is always new goal to attain, new dream to follow”…). A good answer, but I would emphasize also the learning aspect–saying that though they do not dwell on the setbacks, they quickly analyze each one and try to learn the lessons, to make sure they won’t replicate it time and again.
Sample answer no. 2: Woman talking about her way of getting over failures and rejections:
As a woman, I have a tendency to get emotional when I fail or feel rejected, in both personal endeavors and in my professional life. I may cry for five minutes or five hours–if it is a painful failure. But than I am able to make a thick line and forget about it. Sure, I’d love to just get over it without emotions, but each of us has their own way of dealing with life, and I am on the emotional end. I want to assure you that this doesn’t have a negative impact on my performance at work.
- Quick thing to notice about this answer: Notice how openly she talks about her way of dealing with rejection and failure. Opening up will always win you extra points in interviews, and it will also help with your trustworthiness. Having said that, the answer completely lacks the part about analyzing the failures, learning the lessons from them, etc.
Sample answer no.3: Focusing on effort instead of results as a way of dealing with disappointing results:
To be honest, I focus on effort, and not on the eventual results. I learned this lesson in my early years, when I competed in athletics on a semi-professional level. Success depends on many factors–and you can control just a few of them. You cannot control what your competitors do, how the situation on the market develops, or some unexpected events, like the virus pandemic, for example. I am well aware of it, and that’s why I get easily over failures. As long as I know that I tried my best, I just accept a failure as an inevitable outcome in the given situation, and move on.
- Quick thing to notice here: An applicant shows a healthy attitude to life and whatever it brings. Focus on effort, not on results. You cannot control everything. And why no doubt a great answer, the problem here is that almost all corporations focus on your results (whether you reached your goals as an employee, met the deadlines, etc), and not on your efforts. Hence it is a tricky one to use in the interviews.
Sample answer no. 4: A fresh grad who has not experienced any big setbacks yet in their life:
To be honest, I cannot say, because I haven’t experienced a big failure in my life yet. I got to the school of my choice, I passed all exams, and I was lucky on a good relationship that has been lasting for years now, and will likely turn into a marriage. Sure, there were some small setbacks, or if you want bumps on the road, but nothing that will make me think or rue about some decisions or missed opportunities. Certainly I will experience some failures later on, but I am yet to tell how I will handle them.
- Quick thing to notice here: This isn’t a good answer. When hiring managers ask about failures, you should talk about failures. If you haven’t experienced big ones, talk about small ones. Your attitude matters for us, and not particular situation that you narrate. One can show the right attitude to failing even when talking about a small setback, for example failing to get a message over to someone, to score a desired result in a test, to learn some new skill. Even on a small setback you can show that you accept your responsibility for it, analyze why you failed, learn your lesson and move on.
Sample answer no 5: A financial analyst talking about a bad forecast they made:
My way of dealing with failures is analyzing them in detail. For example one very bad forecast I made as an analyst in my last job. Looking back, I try to understand why exactly I failed, and what I could have done differently in this particular case, for example in data collection or trends analysis, in order to come up with the right forecast and not with a totally wrong one. I always try to analyze things, and learn from my mistakes. I certainly accept responsibility for each failure in my life, but it does not paralyze me. We cannot always succeed. The key is to find out why we failed, and do things better next time.
- Quick thing to notice here: A nice answer. Talking about a situation from their last job, in a few sentences they say everything important (“…I try to understand why exactly I failed, and what I could have done differently…certainly accept responsibility for each failure ….does not paralyze me”).
Sample answer no. 6: Dealing with failures with a bottle of gin:
Speaking honestly, a bottle of gin can do the trick for me at times, or a lonely day in the nature. I’m not a drunkard, or anything like that. But sometimes it helps to clear your head, to do some reset, call it a turning point, and then start with a fresh and clear mind. I also think that it helps when you have around you people who support you in hard times–be it colleagues at work, or friends in your personal life. I also try to be such a colleague, and help others deal with failures.
- Quick thing to notice about this answer: The answer may seem outright wrong, but we should not forget that weekend drinking is a part of a corporate culture in many Fortune 500 companies. I would still opt for different words, however. For example, they could say that a nice Friday out with friends helps them to reset and get over failures. One thing about this answer that I like is how the job candidate says that they try to help their colleagues get over their failures.
Sample answer no. 7: A generation Z member talks about high expectations they carry on their shoulders:
I handle failures with acceptance. I have learned long ago that what we cannot change, we can only accept. Sure, the world has a lot of expectations on young people today. Unless you are somebody by your 25th birthday, you are considered a failure in most circles. In my opinion, this is completely wrong and a terrible baggage that we have to carry on our shoulders. Each of us has their own journey, and in my opinion it is completely fine to fail. The only way of not failing is actually not trying anything extraordinary. I am ready to try to achieve big things in your company. And if I fail, I will simply accept it and try another time…
- Quick thing to notice here: They show uncommon maturity for their age, talking in this one about failing, and even pointing out some dangerous trends in our society (“Unless you are somebody by your 25th birthday, you are considered a failure…”). I also like how the show a determination to make something happen for their employer (“…try to achieve big things in your company”). A good answer overall.
Advanced information
Mistakes people make while answering questions about failing and dealing with failure
- Not emphasizing your learning from each failure. Many people do quite well explaining how they deal with failure (always looking forward, accepting them as part of every success story, not putting excessive expectations on themselves, etc), but most forget to emphasize the learning part of the story. And that one is very important for the hiring managers. What I try to say here is that we are okay with you failing, and glad to hear that you can get over it, but we do not want you to fail time and again. Make sure to emphasize that you analyze your failures and learn from them. Not saying this is a mistake and will cost you points for your answer.
- Blaming other people and circumstances. The world is very complex no doubt. It is silly thinking that one person is responsible for any failure on a corporate level. More people always play a role, and so do circumstances you cannot impact. Having said that, many interviewees make this mistake that they blame others for their failures, or the circumstances. And that’s a fundamental difference: to accept failures because you know that you don’t have everything under control, and to blame things you do not have under control for your failures. The first one is the attitude we hope to find in you, but showing the second one is a big mistake.
- Saying they have not experienced any big failure so far (for example when applying for their first ever job) and hence have nothing to talk about. This is a common mistake with young people. Mark my words: everyone fails in life. The scope of failure isn’t important for us. What matters is your attitude, the way you approach failures, learn from them, get over them. All of this you can demonstrate on both big and small failures/setbacks.
Few points from the perspective of the hiring managers/interviewers
- We do also fail, and we do not look for perfectionism. At the end of the day, each interview is a meeting of two (or more) human beings. Just as you make mistakes and fail, so do we. Just as you miss deadlines and get sometimes overwhelmed with work, so do we… With the last few question areas we discussed here on Different Interview, you may get a feeling that the key is to protect your image as a strong person and an ideal employee. But the contrary is true. The more you talk about situations when you failed, faced an ethical dilemma, struggled with some challenges, etc, the better your chances of actually getting a job. Because we don’t look for perfectionism, and we have the same mistakes and weaknesses as you do.
7 keywords to remember when answering questions belonging to this area
- Failing is all right, emphasize what you learn from your failures, dwelling on successes is equally dangerous as dwelling on failures, effort counts but corporations cares mostly about results, you can demonstrate the right attitude even when you faced just small setbacks in your life so far, don’t blame others or circumstances for your failures, ensure us that you’re over your past setbacks by now.
So that’s it! You’ve just covered area no. 25 out of 25 areas that cover 99% of questions you may ever get in the interviews. Did you really go through all of them? If you did, your chances to succeed in your next interview are exponentially higher than before :). And if you just stumbled upon this question in particular, go to homepage for the full list of 25 areas and pick one you want to learn about and practice right now. Thank you, and see you in the interviews!
Matthew
